TV: Simpsons Christmas Episodes
11. Simpsons Christmas Stories (Season 17, episode 9)
“I need a present for my wife, or I’ll have no sex for life”
Similar to the classic Treehouse of Horror episodes this episode centres on three stories. The first is probably the best, featuring a retelling of the birth of Jesus, with Homer as Joseph, Marge as Mary, Bart as Jesus etc; with some great jokes. The second is a bit strange, showcasing Grandpa and Mr Burns trapped on a desert island during World War 2, it doesn’t really become a Christmas story until Santa crashes with them. I do enjoy the relationship between Gramps and Burns, particularly the joke about Grandpa becoming attracted to Burns, but it isn’t enough to carry the segment. The final story is really just the characters singing to the tune of the Nutcracker, with a few funny jokes but no coherent story, that is only really memorable for the cute twist on the classic story element of Homer forgetting to buy Marge a gift.
10. Kill Gill, Volumes 1 and 2 (Season 18, episode 9)
“Marge, admit it. You just can’t say no to anyone. That’s why you have 3 kids.”
To call this episode a Christmas episode may be a bit of a cheat because although it starts and ends at Christmas, it actually centres on all the holidays throughout the year after Marge foolishly invites Gil to stay with the family and he never leaves. It mostly just showcases how irritating a character Gil can be, which is more annoying than funny, though I do enjoy the joke of Gil poorly pasting his picture onto the family’s Christmas card.
9. Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (Season 1, episode 1)
“Dad, you must really love us to sink so low.”
I’m probably going to be accused of blasphemy for placing the first episode of the Simpsons this far down the list but I don’t find it to be that great an episode overall (plus I don’t think the show really hit its stride until at least season 2). It does do a great job of introducing the classic characters in a full on sitcom (they had previously been seen in shorts), setting up the family unit and establishing the joke format but the story about Homer going to new lows to attempt to provide for the family has been done since and better.
8. The Fight Before Christmas (Season 22, episode 8)
“Kid, this company’s bust. For years I’ve been giving away free toys and getting cookies in return. It’s not a sustainable business model.”
Similar to the Simpsons Christmas Stories this is another segmented episode though the stories are much more enjoyable this time around, as each family member dreams about the Christmas to come. The first one sees Bart travel to the North Pole to confront Santa (played here by Krusty) about the dirt bike he’s never received. Lisa’s segment is a bit more random and once again centres on WW2 for some reason, seeing the family try to celebrate Christmas with Marge fighting overseas. Martha Stewart shows up to help Marge realize a perfect Christmas but she decides she would rather have her family’s screwed up version. And in the final section Maggie while cuddling up to a Muppets DVD dreams up a story involving the family trying to trick Mr Burns into believing Homer is sick so he can go to Hawaii, featuring Katy Perry and every Simpsons character as a Muppet-style puppet. It’s a special that definitely starts out stronger than it ends, but is quite consistently funny throughout.
7. ’Tis the Fifteenth Season (Season 15, episode 7)
“Aw, why do things I love always burn?!”
This episode features Homer selfishly spending a fortune on himself rather than buying gifts for the family and after a version of A Christmas Carol convinces him that this attitude will lead to him being unloved he becomes ultra-generous, replacing Flanders’ as the nicest guy in town. When Flanders retaliates by buying everyone in town a Christmas present, Homer takes Lisa’s advice that material goods don’t lead to happiness too far and decides to steal Christmas in true Grinch-y fashion. I love the fake Christmas specials presented in this episode particularly the California Prunes – “this is offensive to both Christmas and prunes” says Lisa – and the, I really wish it were real original Star Trek take on A Christmas Carol. Homer’s take on “You’re a Mean One, Mr Grinch” is also brilliant, particularly the image of him using chloroform on a teddy bear.
6. She of Little Faith (Season 13, episode 6)
“Marge, you can save more souls with roller skates and Easy-Bake ovens than with this 2 thousand page sleeping pill.”
Honestly I would have placed this episode far higher if not for the fact that for a great deal of it’s time it isn’t really a Christmas episode and I remember it much more for the storyline centring on Lisa becoming a buddhist, in fact I just about decided to put it on the list at all. It’s a great episode, with Lisa deciding she is done with Christianity when she feels the church becomes incredibly commercialised, and I always have a sweet spot for Lisa episodes as a whole. There is some fun to be had in the Christmas portion of the episode, with Marge and Reverend Lovejoy trying to pressure Lisa back to the church with Christmas, and a ‘pony’.
5. Grift of the Magi (Season 11, episode 9)
“… Funzo’s European voltage converter”
“Why not get 3?”
“3 it is…”
This is another Christmas episode that doesn’t start out as one, first beginning as a story about the school having to close due to lack of funds. It is then purchased by a company with a fun new approach to teaching, which Lisa hates as they aren’t actually learning anything. She discovers that the company are using school children to design a new toy, Funzo. When Lisa and Bart discover that Funzo is programmed to destroy other toys they set out to steal all the Funzos in town and destroy them first. It’s a different sort of Christmas episode that is both funny and provides great satire on the Christmas toy market, as well as a sweet ending that acknowledges the reset switch at the end of most Simpsons episodes.
4. Miracle on Evergreen Terrace (Season 9, episode 10)
“Uh, hello… jerk. We may never find you, and we should probably all stop looking, but one thing’s for sure… you do exist.”
When Bart goes down to open his presents before everyone else on Christmas morning, he accidentally sets fire to the Christmas tree and destroys all the presents. Rather than tell his family the truth he concocts a lie involving a burglar stealing everything, which is picked up by the local news, with everyone in town pitching in to give the family a merry Christmas. But of course Bart’s lie is exposed, after they have already spent the money, turning the family into social pariahs.
It does rehash a few old ideas, Bart doing wrong and feeling guilt over lying was hardly a new story at this point and is one that would continue to be reused for years to come. However I think the ending makes up this, with the town rallying together once again, this time to rob the family in exchange for the money they’re owed in a great twist on the previous It’s A Wonderful Life reference. The family are left to playfully fight over a washcloth, their only remaining possession, in a sweet scene that feels true to the characters.
3. Holidays of Future Passed (Season 23, episode 9)
“Everyone thinks their dad’s a jerk. And everyone’s right. But, when you get older, you realize how much you love them.”
Another Christmas episode that is a bit different, this one jumps ahead 30 years into the future to when Bart and Lisa have kids of their own and for their own reasons decide to bring them to their parents’ house for the holidays. I think I’m in a bit of a minority for enjoying this episode, as well as many of the other future episodes, and like how this one acknowledges the future established from when Bart and Lisa are shown as teenagers, with Bart now divorced from his then-girlfriend Jenda. Both Bart and Lisa struggle to relate to their children, with Bart barely seeing his kids who see him as a lay-about and Lisa estranged from her teenage daughter, who in traditional teenage fashion seems to want nothing to do with her. There is also a subplot with Maggie, now a Lady Gaga-esque pop sensation travelling back home while pregnant and giving birth in Springfield. Some of the jokes fall a bit flat, like the airlines now becoming a Mad Max style horror. However there is enough sweetness here, with Bart and Lisa reconciling when Bart admits that he wishes he was more like her, to Homer having fun with his grandkids. I also love the use of holiday cards in the opening to show the passage of time, with Lisa gradually growing up and going to college and Bart just staying until Homer and Marge throw him out (which is a card).
2. Skinner’s Sense of Snow (Season 12, episode 8)
“Roads closed, pipes frozen, Albinos…virtually invisible.”
This episode diversifies itself through its use of a different setting, the Elementary School. Beginning on the last day of school before the Christmas break, only a handful of children bother to come in at all due to a blizzard and as a treat Principal Skinner, the only teacher not on an emergency conference (which amounts to a great deal of drinking), puts on a Christmas film – The Christmas That Almost Wasn’t But Then Was. I love all the dumb Christmas film tropes which are presented in the brief glimpses we see of this movie, which apparently goes on for hours, featuring Christmas hobgoblins attacking the North Pole, leaving Santa to save the day.
When the DVD breaks Skinner decides to send the children home, but they find themselves snowed in! To control the children Skinner dons his old army uniform, enforcing harsh rule over the students. Eventually they gain control and reek havoc on the school before Homer shows up to save the day. There are some great moments in the school scenes, in particular the children’s lack of understanding of adult life making them think Skinner must be a millionaire ($25,000 a year X 40 years = $1,000,000). I also enjoy Homer’s freaky hallucinations while high on engine fumes.
1. Marge Be Not Proud (Season 7, episode 11)
Marge: "I’m sorry, honey, but those games cost up to and including $70, and they’re violent, and they distract you from your schoolwork."
Bart: "Those are all good points, but the problem is, they don’t result in me getting the game."
So yep, here is my favourite Simpsons Christmas episode, I’m sure it will be a controversial choice for some but it always held a chord with me. Bart really wants a video game called Bonestorm for Christmas but Marge is reluctant to buy it for him as it is so violent, so after some peer-pressure Bart shoplifts it, getting caught in the act. He tries to cover it up but his shoplifting is exposed to the whole town, causing Marge to become cold to Bart as she feels she has been too soft over the years. Bart comes up with a sweet way to make it up to her, in particular for the fact he ruined the Christmas photo (again) by being pulled away by a security guard. This episode is full of great moments such as Troy McClure’s video on shoplifting, made as part of a court case over his own shoplifting problem. Homer’s angry rant to Bart that makes absolutely no sense is another highlight .There is also the other apparently big game of the year, Lee Carvallo’s Putting Challenge, a dull, tedious golf game that makes fun of the genre as a whole. Overall I feel this is a perfect Simpsons Christmas episode, showcasing the show’s sense of humour as well as its ability to tug at the heartstrings.
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